I known people like Frank.  In their quest for power they’re willing to walk all over anyone in their path.  It often works for awhile.

Of course, they leave a line of people just waiting to strike back, mostly in subtle ways.  People looking for ways to sabotage whatever the knife wielder tries, to slow down his plans, to subvert his ideas.

Why does Frank operate this way?  People enable him.  Senior executives set a tone that nothing matters as long as you win.  The collateral damage is irrelevant. 

We see the results of this all the time.  Dysfunctional organizations, corruption, moral and ethical bankruptcy, and a continual public relations effort required to attempt to fool the public.  And it’s not just in the corporate world.  Public officials and those in the non profit world are struck by the same disease.

Look around you.  You’ll see people so afflicted.  Listen to what people in their organizations say, notice the culture…and it’s effect on people.  Compare it to where there are no Franks. 

Now look at yourself…and how people talk about you.  Think about what you want on your tombstone.

I happened to run into a quote from George Bernard Shaw, the British playwright who died in 1950.  It seems to aim directly at one of the most common problems faced by executives…and just about everyone else. 

“The greatest problem with communication is the illusion that it has been accomplished.”

 George Bernard Shaw

How often do you catch yourself saying “I told you what to do” or some similar line?  How often do you give direction and return to find the action bearing no resemblance to what you requested?  How often do you find yourself thinking “what’s wrong with them that they can’t understand simple instructions“? 

Perhaps the answer isn’t with them but with your hallucination that you communicated, that you spoke and were understood, that your words mean the same thing to them as they do to you.  Perhaps it’s that illusion of infallibility I wrote about last post…that rise to power that leads to behavior simulating brain damage. 

As John Grinder, one of the founders of NeuroLinguistic Programming used to say to me, “communication is the response you get.”  The responsibility for effective communication lies with you, not them. 

  John Grinder

I’ve often thought that something happens to people when they reach the height of power.  Perfectly nice and friendly people liked by all seem to have a personality transfer: they become omnipotent…at least in their own minds.

I’ve thought it was due to the sycophant effect, or the feeling that they control so many people’s destiny, or perhaps just that they are paid such huge amounts of money.  Or maybe it’s just because they were great actors during their rise, hiding that malignant side.

Then I saw an article in the Wall Street Journal by Jonah Lehrer, “The Power Trip.”  Lehrer discussed this very issue.  I highly recomment you read the entire article…and think about your behavior. 

It turns out that the transformation is real…and there is quite a bit of research on how and why it happens.  The very traits that got you to the top disappear and the ogre emerges.

Research by psychologist Dacher Keltner at Haas School of Business even compares the change to brain damage.  He says that people with lots of authority (you?) “tend to behave like neurological patients with a damaged orbitofrontal lobe, a brain area that’s crucial for empathy and decision making.”

How horrible…and often the reason why we see so many people in positions of power abuse it so much.  They (you?) develop a totally false sense of infallability while losing their ability to understand others.  Add to this  a loss of ability to make decisions and what do we have?  Rod Blagojevich I suppose.  What’s your hair look like?

I was greatly saddened by the recent fall of Mark Hurd, ex-leader of Hewlett-Packard.  Here we have a man who rescued a moribund company and brought it back to health, a man making millions with a virtually unlimited expense account…a man respected for his achievement by most.

And yet, a man who was unable to follow the standards of business conduct he himself instituted and forced others to follow, up to and including termination without severance for violations.  A man unable to walk the talk when it came down to a principle of basic honestly…don’t submit inaccurate expense reports.  If he had just never bothered to submit about $20,000 in doctored expenses, he’d probably still be running H-P.

I don’t feel the least bit sorry for him.  He violated not only the business code he himself developed but also the code of being a good executive…don’t lie.  More importantly, he lost all moral authority over the rest of the company. 

Beyond Mark Hurd, however, lies an even more morally lost group of people.  To my amazement there are corporate governance experts who have argued that H-P overreacted.  All Hurd needed to do was repay the money and all would be well.  After all, it was only a minor offense.

How interesting that they focus on the money and not the act.  If it was a bookkeeper somewhere deep in the accounting department who had stolen $20,000 would it be just a minor offense?  I think not. 

Interestingly, the H-P business code of conduct states that to decide if an action is appropriate “before I make a decision, I consider how it would look in a news story.”   Something for all executives…and people…to consider.

A few days ago I happened across an article in the Wall Street Journal by Lera Boroditsky…Lost In Translation.  It is a fascinating chat about how language influences our worldview…and more importantly, how different languages create significantly different worldviews.

In Spanish or Japanese, “the lamp broke itself.”  In English, “he broke the lamp.”  Think about how that simple difference has shaped our entire society(I say this as someone from the United States).  No wonder we are the most litigious society…we immediately assign blame while others think that things just happen.

Our language shapes how we view space, time, causality, color, number, and even each other.  Growing up with different languages creates a different reality…and the more different the language the more different the reality.  Even when we theoretically speak the same language, there are major differences…think American English, British English, Australian English, South African English.  Or even New York City English versus Memphis English, educated English versus uneducated English.

And yet, we lead by talking to people in our language, no matter their language.  And then don’t understand why they didn’t understand…so blame it on them, not ourselves.

Keep this in mind next time you give a speech to rally the troops or attempt to complete a deal with someone with a different language.  Who knows, this might even be one of the reasons that your spouse often doesn’t have a clue what you’re talking about.

I’ve been thinking about the resignation of General McChrystal since it happened a few weeks ago.  It had quite an impact on me, as it did on many of you.  A general taking a bullet for the team. 

I was fascinated by the varying ways the story of what happened was discussed.  Most people put their spin on it, aiming for political and personal gain instead of thinking about the good of the military and the country.  The shoutfest that passes for news these days was neverending…often without any rationality or attention to facts.

It seems to me that the person who acted with thoughtfullness and put the good of all above his personal good, was General McChrystal himself.  He did the rarest of things, he accepted responsibility.  He apologized without reservation and then offered his resignation.  No hemming, no hawing, no blaming others, and…no lawyers.

All too often I see people in all walks of life who credit all success to themselves and all failure to others.  Their ego knows no bounds.  They want wealth and power without accountability.  They can do no wrong.

It’s a shame that once his resignation was accepted the story totally disappeared, overtaken by the next opportunity for the talking heads to spout their ignorance in their neverending attempt to tear down rather than build up.  The general made a hard decision on the world stage…and should be an example of how a real leader acts when faced with a situation requiring someone’s head.

What would you have done?  What have you done?

It seems I’ve manage to sit down for the third week in a row to share some thoughts on running your business for greater success.  Before I forget, there might not be a missive next week since I will be off on Cortes Island British Columbia at a gathering of interesting people from around the world.  Cortes Island is only kind of on the grid so I have no idea if you’ll hear from me or not.  I figured I should let you know in advance, just in case.

Which so nicely leads into something I’ve seen thinking about…doing what you say.  Several weeks ago I was told by a long term member of a big organization that he had told the executive director that he needed to speak with me.  There are some issues in the organization that this member knows I can help with.  The Executive Director agreed and said he was looking forward to speaking with me.

I attempt to speak with the Executive Director.  I call.  I leave messages.  I speak with his assistant who sets up times for us to talk.  I tell the member all this and he calls, actually talks to the Executive Director (I have no idea how this happened), and then lets me know that I should try again.

I have several lovely chats with the assistant who sets up more times.  She even calls and leaves me messages with new times.  I feel bad for the poor assistant who undoubtedly has to do this all the time.  But I continue to just talk to myself. 

Yesterday I saw the member.  He is all apologies.  We discuss the situation…of course, it turns out that being unreliable is one of the problems.  The conversation turns to what this says about the organization, how it will be perceived, what people say about the organization…and it’s Executive Director, and, whether people will want to work with the organization.

Someday perhaps I’ll talk to this fellow.  Or perhaps not if he happens to see this and recognizes himself.  But he did give me a great story.  Perhaps there’s a message in here for you.  This is just a story about setting up times for a phone call which isn’t too big a deal but think about other times you’ve said you’d do something…and haven’t followed through.

Have you ignored it as though you never said anything?  Called or emailed to offer apologies and an explanation?  Thought about the impact this had on your reputation? 

And before I leave you, think about the reverse: the person who always follows through.  You surely know someone like this.  Think about what people say about them.

Which would you rather do business with…and which would you rather be?

It’s happened.  It’s now exactly a week since my first writings on this blog.  It snuck up on me while I was off meeting with clients, doing some marketing meetings and calls about EOS, meeting with my students from Singapore, trying to find some Africa projects for Wharton, taking a few walks…my way of clearing my head and getting some thinking time, and, yes, I’ll admit it, goofing off one day and actually going out with a great client to play golf.

Which got me thinking about commitment.  First of all, what have I committed to and what was I thinking when those Web Ogres at Dinkum Interactive suggested the crazy idea of this blog.  And then the bigger concept of commitment in general. 

Since those of you who have been reading since the beginning…the first issue last week…know that my commitment to you is to improve your business by sharing my thoughts and observations, this seemed like a great place to start.  Commitment:  often mentioned and soon forgotten…or worried about. 

 No, not that kind of committed.  But for many people if feels the same.  The walls closing in and the pressure mounting.  The wondering about why did I agree to do that?

It’s an interesting conundrum for successfully running a business, or perhaps even for life in general.  Commitment is essential for success but also can lead to dismal failure if offered unwisely.  I think the problem is often a disconnect between the brain and the mouth…the mouth offering before the brain has thought through what is being offered.  

This seems to be particularly prevalent in politicians although it certainly shows up in many of those running companies…perhaps yourself?  It is so easy to commit and so hard to do.  And since the doing happens at some later time, there is always the hope by the commitor that the commitment will be soon forgotten.

But we often do remember.  And in remembering begin to color our opinion of the person.  And our opinion of the person colors all our actions from that time forward.  And since we all know that the organization is defined by the person who leads it, that coloring bleeds through into our feelings about the organization.

So think.  When I owned an architectural construction company my favorite saying was always “measure twice, cut once.”  With a bit of modification I know you can do yourself, apt here…I think.

There seems something somehow fitting that I write the first entry to the Benari Blog today.  It’s 102 degrees…described variously as record heat, hottest July ever, and even by one crazed amateur weatherperson as the hottest day ever in the history of the world.  I tend to discount that last.

And why is this fitting?  After years of working with senior executives around the world as both a personal business advisor and a consultant on improving their profitability, I am finally out in the open.  Out in the heat of visibility, the vagaries of the media, and the bizarre irrationality of the internet…witness that last weather report above.

For years I’ve been asked how it is that they can find all kinds of things about me via Google…Wharton, National University of Singapore, Conversation on Networking, and various articles, talks, board positions, books, random quotes here and there, and even my Conversation blog…but nothing on Benari, the consultancy I founded with my father many years ago.

The simple reason is that I’ve been busy and didn’t think I had anything to add to what’s out there that would be of interest to business owners and owners of family businesses, CEOs and Presidents, senior executive teams, and the random reader.  But lately something has changed. 

For some reason all that I’ve learned and thought about in my travels around the world, my interactions with leaders of companies multi-national or local, my thoughts and observations on how people work more…or less…effectively together, the issue of cultural difference …and misunderstanding, and even what I’ve learned in founding and running a number of companies, have all somehow jelled in my mind.  Most interesting about this to me is that others seem to have noticed and keep harassing me to do things and speak more and write more and help them out more.

Then I connected with Rick Simmons and Paul Fleming, co-founders of Dinkum Interactive.  They are dragging me kicking and screaming into the new era of the internet and have convinced me that with a little effort I might actually be able to make a difference in the way business operates.  And even better, they think if I manage to catch the interest of enough of you I might get invited to spend some time in interesting places like St Barth.

I’ll look for you there.